So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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