It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i drank out of a bidet.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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