Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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