1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
