just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
