Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
