Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
