if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
