The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
