hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize