dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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