i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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