Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize