Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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