Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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