I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
