I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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