I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize