this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
We are all done wearing pants today
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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