i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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