Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
