no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
