Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
