I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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