Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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