Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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