Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
