I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
