but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
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