he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
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