I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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