That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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