My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Green mimosas i think yes
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize