apparently the secret to your success is patron
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
