hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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