I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
