Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We have started to decorate penises.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
