We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
