i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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