Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
