So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
And then my night got REAL pukey
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
