Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
