if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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