big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
