I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
