Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I made him laugh his dick is mine
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
