I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
