Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
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