so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
