His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
