just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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