you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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