Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
