i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I just blew my weed a kiss
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
