Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
