rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We need a shit load of segways right now
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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