This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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