Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
