He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
