whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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