he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
