..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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