Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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