epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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