Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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