Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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