We got so high we made milksteak
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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