i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
