it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
