Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
